Blessing & Wasinda: Our Love Story! And How to Successfully Plan a Nigerian Wedding
- I met my husband during my National youth service year (NYSC). I never wanted to serve in the North because I’ve been there all my life. I wanted to go somewhere new considering the fact that I did both my Primary and Secondary school including my Higher Institution in the North. But God had better plans! The day I checked my call up letter and saw that I was posted to Katsina state precisely…I was so angry about it. I cried that night and told my Dad I didn’t like the place because the town looked more like an Islamic state. Everybody’s hair was covered and I told him I wanted to redeploy to another state but my Dad encouraged me to stay.
- So, the day for camp came and I went with an Uncle of mine who knew the family of my husband. He actually took me to their house since I was new in town and my husband happened to be there. I didn’t really take notice of him because I was sad and brooding over my posting. But, I remember he was there in the sitting room watching football while my uncle was discussing with his Dad.
- This was the first time we met and we didn’t talk to one another until after camp when I had issues with my posting and place of primary assignment (PPA). I told my uncle about the problem I was having and he sent me my husband’s number to contact him so he can talk to his Dad about it. Eventually, everything got sorted out and one day he called me to check on me and to ask if I was all settled and all that. I said, yes thank you for helping me out..
- After then I left for my 2 weeks NYSC break without telling him and he called me while I was in Kano to ask if I had gone back home and I said yes…And he said I didn’t tell him I was going home. Then I apologized…Well, I didn’t think I was supposed to tell him I was leaving. He then said he was going to see me when I come back to Katsina and I said okay. When I resumed after the break, we got to meet and the rest is history..
- Well, I knew he was the one because he is a trust worthy person. He is reliable, he doesn’t say one thing and then does the other, he’s caring, loyal and sincere. His actions proved to me that he was really serious about me. When you see someone who is out to play you, it’s usually very glaring. But this one was serious about me, he knew what he wanted, he wasn’t ready to play and he stated out his intentions early.
- I also knew he was the one because he really went after me, he went all out for me, he kept on calling and sending messages, he always had my time. He wasn’t busy for me and it felt really good to be pursued not the other way round, Lol. He is my answered prayer and everything I’ve always wanted in a guy and more. He had all the characteristics I wanted in a good man…I believe God definitely knew the right person for me. He was handpicked for me and I’m so grateful I got him.
- One important thing that also made me knew he was the one was the fact that my relationship with him did not compromise my relationship with God at all. Instead, it made my relationship with God stronger. He made me grow in the word of God, he made me love myself more and I was very comfortable around him. I could do anything around him, I could even fart in his presence…Lol!
- He also respected me and valued my opinions. Whenever there was something to do…he will ask for my opinion like ‘What do we do about this babe?’ That made me feel really special and for the fact that someone needs my opinion on an issue showed me that this guy meant business, he loves me and he wasn’t here to play. I just knew that he was the one for me!
- Our proposal wasn’t anything big, it was just me and him. I was running my ICAN in Kano and I was in class that day when I got a call from him. I thought it was his regular checking up on me and him asking how my class was doing. But, then he asked me where we usually have our classes and I told him. I never suspected that he was in town because he was on call the night before and I knew he slept in the hospital that night. It didn’t come to my head that he will be in Kano.
- The next thing I heard was that he was outside my class. I was like for real, you’re outside my class? He said yes and I thought he was joking until I went outside and saw him. We hugged, exchanged pleasantries and I was like what happened? You didn’t tell me…He was just laughing and he was like after he left the hospital, he started coming here. Then he told me to go back inside and complete my class for the day and then we will go for lunch. He waited for me till I was through and after the class we went out…
- At this point, I was beginning to suspect may be he wanted to ask me to marry him but I didn’t want to jump into conclusion. We ordered for our food and he told me he wanted to get a drink…He looked quite uneasy and nervous…I could see it on his face…Haha. I then felt he was going to pop the question.
- He went to get the drink, spoke to the waiter and gave the waiter his phone. Then he came back to where we were seated and got down on one knee, and he started saying something’s which I can’t even remember now because to be honest I wasn’t even listening. I was just overwhelmed, excited and on cloud nine. He asked if I would marry him and I said yes…Lol!
- We spoke generally about our past relationships, family history and experiences. I mean these things are going to shape our future and we had to speak about them. We spoke about our families and the role they will play in our lives when we get married.
- We also spoke on sex…you know..it’s important to get comfortable with that topic because it’s one thing that will carry on for the rest of your married life. We spoke about our past sexual relationship, we spoke about secrets that we had ranging from family secrets to personal choices. That helped in paving way for honesty and openness between us.
- Then we both discussed our expectations, our views on work, family and marriage roles. How we were going to do with the cooking and cleaning, how to handle things when the kids come, how to handle being a working mom and all that.
- We also had talks about money…that is one aspect you cannot rule out. We had to talk on finances because if it’s not tackled, it can cause a strain on the marriage. We had to know how we were going to spend our money, if we had debts to settle, our spending habits, our views on savings, our views on tithing, our views on giving, etc.
- We also spoke about our faith in God…I remember him asking what my plans were after marriage? How we were going to raise our kids? What services we will be going for? How we were going to train our children in the way of the Lord, etc. We discussed our prayer lives, our word study life, how many kids we would have, family planning, and the children schooling.
- We spoke about boundaries too; boundaries with our exes, male and female friends especially those we didn’t find helpful to our relationship…People we should cut off and those with characters we were not too comfortable with.
- Hmmmnnn…You know how Nigerian weddings is filled with plenty drama. So, first of all I will say PRAY. Make sure you pray about all the plans you have on ground, write them out and pray about each and everyone of them. Commit it into God’s hand, tell him these are your plans, let him step in and take charge. Tell him to raise people that will help you in achieving all the wedding plans.
- Another thing is to make preparations for the wedding early enough. The earlier, the better for you. Whatever you need to do, just write them down. Make sure you’re early on everything so you won’t start doing a rush hour wedding.
- Get people you really trust to help you out with the different planning works. In my own case, my family friend was God’s sent to me. She was a life saver, whenever I needed her she was always there. Sometimes, she will be busy with something and immediately I call her and tell her babe I need your help with this thing. She will drop whatever she’s doing and come to my rescue. Get people that have your best interest at heart to help you because you cannot do it alone or else, you will just break down. No one will assume you need help until you call for help.
- Involve your fiance in all your arrangement and planning. My husband helped me out in a way lot of things, like he helped out with the venue, the food, the drink, and many more. And you know, they are always happy to help if you ask and involve them. He wouldn’t want to see his Iyawo (bride to be) all stressed out, Lol.
- Have a budget. Don’t just spend recklessly or go about dashing people money all in the name of planning wedding. Whatever you have planned out, get the prices of the things and write them out.
- Decide on the type of venue you want. Is it an indoor event or an outdoor event? Then plan for the coordination of that day. Ask people to help you make sure that everything is in place because you will be on the stage with your husband and you will need people who can supervise things for you.
- Make sure that every money you spent is recorded. Every of your wedding expenses, record it so as to enable you stick to your budget.
- For the bride, ensure you go for your beauty routine few days before the wedding. Go for a spa treatment, pamper yourself because it’s you they are coming to see. Give yourself a treat, do your hair, ensure your make up artist is fully ready.
- Have your pre-wedding shoot. You will need pictures for your souvenirs. Don’t have them a day to your wedding oh…Like I had mine two months before my wedding.
- Confirm your venue few days to the wedding. Confirm all your wedding vendors, your caterers, bakers, etc. Disturb them very well. Not the one they will come on your wedding day and say ‘Aunty the flower wey we suppose use…’ Let them not come and give you story. Monitor them closely and be on their neck.
- Lastly, relax. Take a chill pill…It’s your wedding. Relax and get married!
- Your wedding period is a time of joy, a time of celebration, a time when people come together to celebrate you for finding your missing rib and for finding someone who will fulfill purpose with you and make you happy for the rest of your life. You must know that the devil is also trying to steal that which is going to make you happy but God is always there for us.
- We experienced a lot of troubles and challenges while preparing for the day. I had my traditional wedding a month before my white wedding and we had to go down to the village for it. The road was not pleasant at all…My husband and his people had to drive for 24 hours on the road, they experienced a lot of things. Four of their tyres got busted on the road at the same time, and this was something they really checked before moving. This could only be the devil…trying to spoil and destroy things. But, by the grace of God we were able to overcome them all.
- Prayer is very important while preparing for the wedding and marriage. You should not be overwhelmed with the preparations that you forget to pray. You really need to pray because that’s the time the devil can use anybody to get at you. We were able to deal with those obstacles by prayers.
- Even when we came back from the village, my friend and I narrowly escaped an accident during the shopping period. There were many challenges that came up…you know…so many people tried to bring up their own ideas for us to follow. Some can make you cry and sad, sometimes you may wish to call off the wedding but you have to be strong and be really prayerful.
- First and foremost, you should have your sowing kits. You don’t have to be a professional tailor to be able to sow. You can have a safety pin, scissors, needle and matching thread just in case there is a tear or your dress gets ripped or something. I’m speaking from experience…My friends bridal train dresses were tight and some had issues…I had to help them fix it because my sowing kits were handy.
- Secondly, have a nail polish with you. In any case your nails get ruined or something, you can easily fix it. Also, have a super glue with you just in case an accessory or shoe gets damaged…you never can tell about these things.
- Have your bobby pins, comb, hair spray, hair accessories, and make-up kits. My MUA forgot the eye lashes she was meant to use on me but thank God for the second MUA who was able to help. Something can just happen or get broken but having yours at hand can really help.
- Have tissues with you also. It will help when you are tearing up or when you need to use the bathroom.
- Have some pain killers with you too. An headache doesn’t care if it’s your wedding day, anything can come up and you may start to feel pain.
- Lastly, have your body spray and deodorants with you. Have mints to keep your breathe fresh all day and make your lips kissable.
- You have to have mints with you to keep your breathe fresh for…Well you know what for…Lol!
- You should also have some cash with you. Make sure your friend has your phone to capture all the moments and help you pick your calls. Ensure it’s fully charged.
- Lastly, have your sanitary pads or tampons with you. Don’t take any chances!
- Oh my God! I admire a lot of things in him. He is God-fearing and he really loves God. He is very patient with me because I can be a handful sometimes..Lol. He is honest, caring, trust worthy and reliable. He is a good listener, he really listens to me whenever I talk and whenever I need to make my rants. I’m so lucky to have him (blushes). He is the best thing that ever happened to me!
- I don’t think I will want to change a thing about my wedding. I had a perfect wedding, I loved every bit of my celebration, everything was perfect to me. They say there is no perfect wedding but then everything was perfect to me. It was interesting, I had people who loved me and was all around me, I had supportive friends and family. They made everything hitch free and I don’t see anything to change about the wedding.
- My advice is to redirect your focus to serving God. Let the relationship come whenever it’s meant to, you shouldn’t force it. Don’t wait on men, wait on God during your waiting period. And if you pray consistently and meditate on his word, he will make things clear to you.
- Relationship should not be your top priority, have more time to spend growing both as an individual and as a believer. Have fun while you’re waiting, do things more, go out often, spend time with friends, love yourself, travel to places, explore the world. Do things to make yourself happy and continue to nurture yourself, build yourself, grow as an individual.
- Thank you for featuring me on your blog. I’m really honored!
Wedding Dress: @rentadressnostress
Hair Styling: @fateez60
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