Hi guys! Apologies for not doing book reviews early enough this month but y’all know I always have you in mind. So if you are new to this, kindly click on the following link below to find get more details Monthly Book Reviews.

Today’s review is a Dale Carnegie’s book titled ‘How to Win Friends and Influence People’. I totally love everything about this fascinating book and I recommend it strictly for anyone who wants to master or build relationships and also for those who wish to understand people generally. The book was first published in 1936, and also named no. 19 on Time Magazine’s list of 100 most influential books in 2011. It has also sold over 30 million copies with about 17 editions or more.

I personally don’t think this review will do justice to the life changing effect it has had on me but I will try my best because it’s filled with so much depth, insight and knowledge. But to start with, this book listed twelve things in the front page that can help you achieve, there by showing a prospective reader what to expect from reading it;

  • Get out of a mental rut, think new thoughts, acquire new vision, discover new ambitions
  • Make friends easily and quickly
  • Increase your popularity
  • Help you win people to your way of thinking
  • Increase your influence, your prestige, your ability to get things done
  • Handle complaints, avoid arguments, keep your human contacts smooth and pleasant
  • Make you a better speaker, a more entertaining conversationalist
  • Arouse your enthusiasm among your associates
  • Increase your earning power
  • Enable you to win new clients, new customers
  • Make you a better salesman, a better executive
  • Make the principles of psychology easy for you to apply in your daily contacts

Dale Carnegie maintained that success could be found by charm, appreciation, and personality which is actually true in my own opinion. And like a popular quote that says, “People may forget everything you say or do but will never forget how you made them feel.” This book explained some things on how to interest people or make people like you instantly which I will just pin out;

  • Become genuinely interested in other people
  • If you are wrong, admit it
  • Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves
  • Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely
  • Talk about the things he or she treasures most
  • Smile in everything that you do

The golden rule highlighted here is to treat other people how we would like to be treated. We love to feel important and so does everyone else. People will talk to us for hours if we allow them to talk about themselves. If we can make people feel important in a sincere and appreciative way, then we will win all the friends we could ever dream of.

One of my mentors Apostle Joshua Selman Nimmak often said the highest psychological need of any man or woman is the need or desire to feel  1. Loved 2. Valued and 3. Appreciated. And Dale Carnegie also dwelt on it while telling us the big secret of dealing with people and the fundamental techniques or principles in handling people;

  • Don’t criticize, condemn, or complain
  • Give honest and sincere appreciation/compliments
  • Arouse in the other person an eager want i.e Forget about your own perspective and begin to see things from their own point of view

Darle Carnegie also said in other to change people without giving offense or arousing resentment, you need to;

  • Begin with praise and honest appreciation
  • Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly
  • Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person
  • Ask questions instead of giving direct orders
  • Let the other person save face
  • Praise every improvement
  • Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to
  • Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct
  • Make the other person happy about doing what you suggest

This book is so much more than this, believe me! If you haven’t read it, please grab your copy as soon as possible and do let me know if you have any questions or suggestions on what next book to review on the blog. See you next time!